An exhaustive list of everything that's happened since the Yankees last won a World Series

This is a time of some consternation for Yankees fans like myself. When last we saw this team, they were losing at home in the ALDS to the hated Red Sox, who then went on to waltz to a World Series title. The top free agents on the market, Bryce Harper and Manny Machado, remain unsigned -- and, #mysteryteams aside, New York doesn't seem to be involved.
But we're not here to open old wounds. The past is the past, and there's still plenty to be excited about: Aaron Judge! Giancarlo Stanton! Luis Severino! So what if Brian Cashman doesn't feel compelled to spend big money this winter? The Yankees are still the Yankees, 27 rings and counting.
And now, on a completely unrelated note, here's a brief list of everything that's happened since New York last won a World Series in 2009. No reason, just following a whim.
Teams that have won a World Series since the Yankees last won a World Series
- The Giants, three times
- The Cardinals
- The Red Sox, twice
- The Royals
- The Cubs
- No, seriously, the Cubs
- The Astros
Players that have won a World Series since the Yankees last won a World Series
- Edgar Renteria
- Eugenio Velez
- Rafael Furcal
- Nick Punto 
- Arthur Rhodes
- Marco Scutaro
- Xavier Nady
- Brad Penny
- Jake Peavy
- Joel Hanrahan
- Mike Morse
- Dan Uggla
- Christian Colón
- Jeremy Guthrie
- Joe Blanton 
- Munenori Kawasaki
- Joe Nathan
Former Yankees who have won a World Series since the Yankees last won a World Series
- Eduardo Núñez
- Steve Pearce
- Nathan Eovaldi 
- Joba Chamberlain
- Melky Cabrera
- Stephen Drew
Players that have appeared in the All-Star Game since the Yankees last won a World Series
- Vladimir Guerrero
- Andre Ethier
- Hanley Ramirez, as a shortstop
- Ryan Howard
- Carl Crawford, as a Tampa Bay Ray
- Josh Hamilton
- Fausto Carmona
- Jose Valverde
- Ubaldo Jiménez
- Ty Wigginton
- Paul Konerko, who will be on next year's Hall of Fame ballot 
- Michael Young, who was on this year's Hall of Fame ballot
- Jair Jurrjens
- Carlos Quentin
- Bryan LaHair
- Domonic Brown
- Justin Masterson
Bands who have appeared in the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100 since the Yankees last won a World Series
- Far East Movement ("Like a G6")
- Owl City ("Fireflies")
- Foster the People ("Pumped Up Kicks")
- Hot Chelle Rae ("Tonight Tonight")
- LMFAO ("Shots")
- The cast of Glee ("Loser Like Me")
Movies and TV shows that had not yet premiered when the Yankees last won a World Series
- Jersey Shore
- The Blind Side
- The Walking Dead
- The Twilight Saga: New Moon
- Sherlock
- Avatar
- American Ninja Warrior
- The Avengers
TV shows that were still on the air when the Yankees last won a World Series
- Monk
- Ed, Edd 'n Eddy
- The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
- Scrubs
- 24
Things that did not yet exist when the Yankees last won a World Series
- The iPad
- Siri
- The Doritos Locos Taco
- Snapchat
- Instagram
- Pinterest
- Angry Birds
- Facebook Messenger
- Tinder
Things that did exist when the Yankees last won a World Series
- Blockbuster
- Hollywood Video
- Circuit City
- Virgin Megastores
- Borders Books
- The ability to poke people on Facebook
- The swine flu epidemic